Stealing from a Sunday School lesson I had today.
One of the points in the lesson was to "Rely on the Spirit rather than the wisdom of the world".
The teacher was talking about balancing secular and spiritual learning, and how secular learning can be either a blessing or a stumbling block for us. We should not think that because we know so much when it comes to secular knowledge that we don't need Heavenly Father in our lives anymore. Some may think that because they know so much, there is no place for God in their lives because they have everything figured out; for "when they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not... But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God" (2 Nephi 9:28-29). We should allow for great knowledge as well as the influence of God in our lives. We can apply principles from secular knowledge to religious knowledge, and vice versa. An example that he provided really shed light on the matter, and I loved the analogy.
The teacher explained how in high school calculus he would occasionally not understand problems on his homework and concepts he was learning in class. He attributed this confusion to not completely understanding a previous concept or principle that the teacher taught.
He likened that to us as members of the church learning the things of the gospel.
We wouldn't come to the conclusion in calculus that since we don't understand something or it doesn't make sense in our minds that calculus and every concept and lesson therein has to be false. We would go to the teacher with a desire to learn more so that we can understand that which is confusing to us.
So it should be in the gospel. If there is something you are struggling with, or don't quite understand, don't give up just yet. Study it out in your mind. Ask questions. Pray about it. Read the scriptures. Visit mormon.org. The Lord wants you to gain answers. He wants you to have faith. Those members of the church in your ward are there for support, to help you along in your journey here on earth.
And you should do likewise. If someone you know is struggling with questions they may have about the gospel, be a friend. Be their support. Because the time will come when you need someone to lean on, too. With every little bit of knowledge learned, principles of the gospel start to make more sense.
And when you diligently study and do your homework on a regular basis, calculus won't be that hard either.
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Sunlightenment
Regression of the process towards the poem:
HEAVEN FEELS
Brightly shines the sun on the south side. Nestling myself in the V
Of the red brick wall, I've
Been here before. I know what's in store. Instantly I my spirits soar.
Free from the cares on my mind. I'm high
On the balcony, hidden from the passerby.
The warmth overtakes me, a feeling of ecstasy I can't deny.
The feeling
So serene, I lean
Back in my chair. Maximizing exposure. Resting my head on my own shoulder
I feel bolder
And close my eyes. And I wonder why
I haven't made the time in recent days gone by.
Taken advantage of the fair weather, and then I remember
Since December my warmth has been severed.
Short days of paltry sun, happiness gone.
Wondering when winter solstice would be done
And there would be warmth.
It's here now, and back in my spot on the south
Side I laze.
Feeling the rays on the pale skin of my neck, my leggings black.
Visible through the lids of my eyes, I let it take me away and I
Am swallowed up in the bright
Bliss and imagine for a moment in time that I've learned to fly
And float away in the light.
And I know this is how
Heaven feels.
Paragraph form:
The south side has the most sun. That's the rule of thumb. I love the south. It represents warmth and happiness. Sunshine beats down in the corner of the brick wall. I've been here before. Safe from the wind. Safe from the traffic of passserbyers. Safe. Warm. I lean back in my chair against the headrest. Turn my head so my cheek rests on my shoulder. Stretch out to maximize sun exposure. I hold still. Still as can be. It feels warmer this way. Closing my eyes, I feel the rays beat down through my black leggings. On my black combat boots. On the bare, pale skin of my neck. I let it take me away and I am swallowed up in the bright bliss. Imagining I am floating away. This is what heaven feels like for sure.
A light breeze fans my face. Blowing my hair to cover my cheek. I frown. I wonder for a brief moment if the sun is highlighting my hair. Turning it a lighter shade of auburn. The color of my hair is one thing I love about myself. Shaking my head to remove the hair, I once again feel the rays beating down on my cheek. Stay still. The clack of heels sounds in the distance. Self conscious, I sit up and pretend to scroll through my black phone screen. Glance up. Look down. They're gone. I lean my head back once more and embrace the quiet humming of the air handler. Thinking back on dinner. Sitting with three siblings and a wife. The love of family is incomparable. Laughter. Smiles. Sleeptalking. Sleepwalking. Snoring. Hiccups. Cantaloupe. Almonds. Does my family miss me. Someone else approaches. Pretend texting. My phone makes a reflection on the concrete from the sunlight. Remembering past dinners. Sunlight reflecting off silverware. Onto ceilings. Onto walls. Onto faces. Into eyes. Make him stop. Confiscated butter knives. A bell tolls in the distance. Signaling the hour. I lose track of the tolls. Have they set it an hour ahead. I wonder. Daylight Savings. Yesterday this would have been five o'clock. Today it is six. Thank heaven for later daylight. The breeze blows again. I peer at the ball of sun. Getting lower in the sky. Air becomes cooler. Homework awaits. Life calls. Ending the 30 minutes of listless thinking. Too short. Too long. Too long since it has been warm enough. Too long since I last slept in the sun. A new resolve to celebrate the little things.
Original scattered thoughts:
A light breeze fans my face
bell tolls in the distance
the stiller I am, the warmer the sun
reflect on siblings at dinner
south side
peer at ball of sun
too long. sun. outside. warm, nap.
reflections on the concrete
hair covers my face. highlights
happy family. smiles
does my family miss me
daylight savings
keeps getting cooler
life calls
HEAVEN FEELS
Brightly shines the sun on the south side. Nestling myself in the V
Of the red brick wall, I've
Been here before. I know what's in store. Instantly I my spirits soar.
Free from the cares on my mind. I'm high
On the balcony, hidden from the passerby.
The warmth overtakes me, a feeling of ecstasy I can't deny.
The feeling
So serene, I lean
Back in my chair. Maximizing exposure. Resting my head on my own shoulder
I feel bolder
And close my eyes. And I wonder why
I haven't made the time in recent days gone by.
Taken advantage of the fair weather, and then I remember
Since December my warmth has been severed.
Short days of paltry sun, happiness gone.
Wondering when winter solstice would be done
And there would be warmth.
It's here now, and back in my spot on the south
Side I laze.
Feeling the rays on the pale skin of my neck, my leggings black.
Visible through the lids of my eyes, I let it take me away and I
Am swallowed up in the bright
Bliss and imagine for a moment in time that I've learned to fly
And float away in the light.
And I know this is how
Heaven feels.
Paragraph form:
The south side has the most sun. That's the rule of thumb. I love the south. It represents warmth and happiness. Sunshine beats down in the corner of the brick wall. I've been here before. Safe from the wind. Safe from the traffic of passserbyers. Safe. Warm. I lean back in my chair against the headrest. Turn my head so my cheek rests on my shoulder. Stretch out to maximize sun exposure. I hold still. Still as can be. It feels warmer this way. Closing my eyes, I feel the rays beat down through my black leggings. On my black combat boots. On the bare, pale skin of my neck. I let it take me away and I am swallowed up in the bright bliss. Imagining I am floating away. This is what heaven feels like for sure.
A light breeze fans my face. Blowing my hair to cover my cheek. I frown. I wonder for a brief moment if the sun is highlighting my hair. Turning it a lighter shade of auburn. The color of my hair is one thing I love about myself. Shaking my head to remove the hair, I once again feel the rays beating down on my cheek. Stay still. The clack of heels sounds in the distance. Self conscious, I sit up and pretend to scroll through my black phone screen. Glance up. Look down. They're gone. I lean my head back once more and embrace the quiet humming of the air handler. Thinking back on dinner. Sitting with three siblings and a wife. The love of family is incomparable. Laughter. Smiles. Sleeptalking. Sleepwalking. Snoring. Hiccups. Cantaloupe. Almonds. Does my family miss me. Someone else approaches. Pretend texting. My phone makes a reflection on the concrete from the sunlight. Remembering past dinners. Sunlight reflecting off silverware. Onto ceilings. Onto walls. Onto faces. Into eyes. Make him stop. Confiscated butter knives. A bell tolls in the distance. Signaling the hour. I lose track of the tolls. Have they set it an hour ahead. I wonder. Daylight Savings. Yesterday this would have been five o'clock. Today it is six. Thank heaven for later daylight. The breeze blows again. I peer at the ball of sun. Getting lower in the sky. Air becomes cooler. Homework awaits. Life calls. Ending the 30 minutes of listless thinking. Too short. Too long. Too long since it has been warm enough. Too long since I last slept in the sun. A new resolve to celebrate the little things.
Original scattered thoughts:
A light breeze fans my face
bell tolls in the distance
the stiller I am, the warmer the sun
reflect on siblings at dinner
south side
peer at ball of sun
too long. sun. outside. warm, nap.
reflections on the concrete
hair covers my face. highlights
happy family. smiles
does my family miss me
daylight savings
keeps getting cooler
life calls
Monday, August 11, 2014
Thankful...
Today I am so thankful. I have so much in my life to be thankful for, but recently I have been able to arrange everything in order for me to get back to BYU this coming fall.
Shocker, right?
I know, there had to be a heck of a lot of strings to pull to make that happen. And there was. Strings to pull with the state of Illinois, with housing, with credit hour exemption, with meal plans, with petitions, with caregivers, with caregiver advertising, with vacation time, with SO MANY THINGS that I had to get in order for me to be able to make it all work.
But there was a time before I knew what strings to pull, a time before I even knew if I would get to be able to go back out. I would tell people I had no idea what I was going to do, and that was the blazing truth. I had become content with being stuck with online classes, with having to reapply to BYU if I didn't go back, with the nagging feeling that I wouldn't get back in, with having to consider a different school much closer to home.
I didn't want that.
I tried to put on a brave face because I seriously thought things wouldn't work out. I wouldn't get what I wanted most. It seemed that there was no way. But there had to be.
Then something changed, and suddenly in my head it all made sense how it could work out with part time caregivers who would come during the day and help me out. I toyed around in my head for awhile trying to see if that would even be a feasible idea.
Obviously, it was.
Now, I'm not taking any credit for any ideas here. I truly believe that the Lord was instrumental in blessing me with the idea of how it could all work out. I am so thankful.
I am thankful for everything that has been given me.
I am thankful for the idea of how this could all work out.
I am thankful for my parents for listening to my ideas and supporting me.
I am thankful for the nice people down at the DRHS office for being so accommodating.
I am thankful for the New Heritage buildings being built close to campus last year.
I am thankful for the internet in being so instrumental in posting caregiver advertisements.
I am thankful for the people who have contacted me and applied for the job.
I am thankful for the BYU housing and meal plan offices for working out the arrangements.
I am thankful for the LDS church for having such a lovely school for me to attend.
I am thankful for initially getting into BYU two years ago.
I am thankful for everything that has been given me.
I am thankful.
I will always be thankful.
Life is good. Even though there are still minor details to figure out, I believe it will all work out for good.
I am so thankful.
Shocker, right?
I know, there had to be a heck of a lot of strings to pull to make that happen. And there was. Strings to pull with the state of Illinois, with housing, with credit hour exemption, with meal plans, with petitions, with caregivers, with caregiver advertising, with vacation time, with SO MANY THINGS that I had to get in order for me to be able to make it all work.
But there was a time before I knew what strings to pull, a time before I even knew if I would get to be able to go back out. I would tell people I had no idea what I was going to do, and that was the blazing truth. I had become content with being stuck with online classes, with having to reapply to BYU if I didn't go back, with the nagging feeling that I wouldn't get back in, with having to consider a different school much closer to home.
I didn't want that.
I tried to put on a brave face because I seriously thought things wouldn't work out. I wouldn't get what I wanted most. It seemed that there was no way. But there had to be.
Then something changed, and suddenly in my head it all made sense how it could work out with part time caregivers who would come during the day and help me out. I toyed around in my head for awhile trying to see if that would even be a feasible idea.
Obviously, it was.
Now, I'm not taking any credit for any ideas here. I truly believe that the Lord was instrumental in blessing me with the idea of how it could all work out. I am so thankful.
I am thankful for everything that has been given me.
I am thankful for the idea of how this could all work out.
I am thankful for my parents for listening to my ideas and supporting me.
I am thankful for the nice people down at the DRHS office for being so accommodating.
I am thankful for the New Heritage buildings being built close to campus last year.
I am thankful for the internet in being so instrumental in posting caregiver advertisements.
I am thankful for the people who have contacted me and applied for the job.
I am thankful for the BYU housing and meal plan offices for working out the arrangements.
I am thankful for the LDS church for having such a lovely school for me to attend.
I am thankful for initially getting into BYU two years ago.
I am thankful for everything that has been given me.
I am thankful.
I will always be thankful.
Life is good. Even though there are still minor details to figure out, I believe it will all work out for good.
I am so thankful.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Confessions of a muscle affected by a neuromuscular disease
I found this post online at transitions.mda.org and I thought it summed up my feelings an thoughts SO PERFECTLY. It even made me a little teary-eyed. The struggle is real, guys.
This was not written by me, but by Mindy Henderson. You can check out her blog here
Confessions of a Muscle Affected by a Neuromuscular Disease:
1. I will give you strong days and I will give you days full of fatigue when you will feel like I’ve strapped a 50 lb. weight to your arms. I will never tell you in advance what kind of day tomorrow will be…it’s part of my charm. I will teach you patience.
2. I will get weaker over time. It will be scary when it happens because you’ll find, quite suddenly, that you can’t do something today quite the way you did it yesterday. I will teach you acceptance.
3. You will wonder what I will take from you next (Eating? Brushing your teeth?). It is my secret. I will teach you to surrender.
4. I will make you look awkward in public when I prevent you from reaching out to shake a stranger’s hand, or make your head flop from side-to-side as you cross over the grass in your wheelchair at the church picnic. I will teach you humility.
5. I will make you long for things every mother should experience – braiding your daughter’s hair, wrapping your arms around her when she cries. But I will teach you there are other gifts you can give your daughter besides the hum-drum, everyday ones any mother can give.
Most of all, you will not like me. I don’t get to be your friend and see you embrace me with love and admiration. I will make you struggle, I will hurt you and I will make your life very, very hard. You will struggle every time you put on makeup or raise a fork to your mouth or get up out of bed. I am not fun, and I don’t ask you to pretend to enjoy me. But, you will learn that I am chosen for you specifically by God. You will do with me what you are meant to, and the lessons I teach, you will receive. So you will take me, you will put up with me and, eventually, you will embrace me as part of you.
Ultimately, you will become grateful for the person I make you into.
Trust me…
To read more from Mindy, visit her blog online at mindyannehenderson.com
This was not written by me, but by Mindy Henderson. You can check out her blog here
Confessions of a Muscle Affected by a Neuromuscular Disease:
1. I will give you strong days and I will give you days full of fatigue when you will feel like I’ve strapped a 50 lb. weight to your arms. I will never tell you in advance what kind of day tomorrow will be…it’s part of my charm. I will teach you patience.
2. I will get weaker over time. It will be scary when it happens because you’ll find, quite suddenly, that you can’t do something today quite the way you did it yesterday. I will teach you acceptance.
3. You will wonder what I will take from you next (Eating? Brushing your teeth?). It is my secret. I will teach you to surrender.
4. I will make you look awkward in public when I prevent you from reaching out to shake a stranger’s hand, or make your head flop from side-to-side as you cross over the grass in your wheelchair at the church picnic. I will teach you humility.
5. I will make you long for things every mother should experience – braiding your daughter’s hair, wrapping your arms around her when she cries. But I will teach you there are other gifts you can give your daughter besides the hum-drum, everyday ones any mother can give.
Most of all, you will not like me. I don’t get to be your friend and see you embrace me with love and admiration. I will make you struggle, I will hurt you and I will make your life very, very hard. You will struggle every time you put on makeup or raise a fork to your mouth or get up out of bed. I am not fun, and I don’t ask you to pretend to enjoy me. But, you will learn that I am chosen for you specifically by God. You will do with me what you are meant to, and the lessons I teach, you will receive. So you will take me, you will put up with me and, eventually, you will embrace me as part of you.
Ultimately, you will become grateful for the person I make you into.
Trust me…
To read more from Mindy, visit her blog online at mindyannehenderson.com
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Friday, March 15, 2013
Remember Me?
I don't think I'll ever get used to the way life goes when you are in a wheelchair. It is funny how easy it is to recognize someone in a wheelchair.
For example:
At the Creamery grill yesterday, the girl who is taking our order says "Hey I know you! You were in my Book of Mormon class over the summer!" My reaction: "uuhhh.... really?......(I mean, I don't doubt that I was)... *glances at name tag. Doesn't ring a bell*.... ahhh that's nice.....*runs through all the faces of the people in my class that I can remember from 8 months ago*..... yeah it was a good class, wasn't it......but I don't remember you. sorry. *mumbles some excuse about sitting at the back of the class and being half asleep at that time*......see ya!"
Now usually I'm really good at remembering at least the name or the face of people that I meet, but this girl could have never said a word to me at all or anything. But I FEEL SO BAD when I can't remember people!
Another example:
Merideth and I were at the HFAC for some late-night party last week. We're watching a band from an upper balcony and a girl walks past. This is our conversation in passing:
"Hi Lauren!"
"Hey! How are you?"
"Good! It's so good to see you!"
"M'hm good to see you too!"
"Bye!"
"Bye"
After this, Merideth asks me who that was. I couldn't tell you if my life depended on it. I recognize her face, but not her name or where I know her from. Merideth's response: "But you talked to her like you were her friend! You even told her it was good to see her!"
Yeah, I know. But imagine how awkward it would be if I was like "uuuuhhhh I don't know you...."
Too awkward. So I just play along. Is that bad? Am I a bad person for doing that? I have friends who are in wheelchairs who have that same problem all the time. I figure just make the people feel good... I don't know!!
For example:
At the Creamery grill yesterday, the girl who is taking our order says "Hey I know you! You were in my Book of Mormon class over the summer!" My reaction: "uuhhh.... really?......(I mean, I don't doubt that I was)... *glances at name tag. Doesn't ring a bell*.... ahhh that's nice.....*runs through all the faces of the people in my class that I can remember from 8 months ago*..... yeah it was a good class, wasn't it......but I don't remember you. sorry. *mumbles some excuse about sitting at the back of the class and being half asleep at that time*......see ya!"
Now usually I'm really good at remembering at least the name or the face of people that I meet, but this girl could have never said a word to me at all or anything. But I FEEL SO BAD when I can't remember people!
Another example:
Merideth and I were at the HFAC for some late-night party last week. We're watching a band from an upper balcony and a girl walks past. This is our conversation in passing:
"Hi Lauren!"
"Hey! How are you?"
"Good! It's so good to see you!"
"M'hm good to see you too!"
"Bye!"
"Bye"
After this, Merideth asks me who that was. I couldn't tell you if my life depended on it. I recognize her face, but not her name or where I know her from. Merideth's response: "But you talked to her like you were her friend! You even told her it was good to see her!"
Yeah, I know. But imagine how awkward it would be if I was like "uuuuhhhh I don't know you...."
Too awkward. So I just play along. Is that bad? Am I a bad person for doing that? I have friends who are in wheelchairs who have that same problem all the time. I figure just make the people feel good... I don't know!!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Stop and Stare
So a little rant here...
It's granted that when you're in a wheelchair with a disability, you're gonna get stares. That's guaranteed. Here at BYU, with college students, you don't get stared at that often because people accept that you have a disability and get over it. Thank goodness for people like that. High school students don't stare at you either. I don't know what it is, but I'm eternally grateful for people like that. Because of the fact that I live on a campus with BYU students, I don't get to experience that wonderful feeling of someone's eyes boring into you because you look different.
I went to a basketball game tonight. Sporting events are always different because the general public comes to those. You don't get the general public on BYU campus very often. There's four groups of people at those events: Children, students, adults, and then the old people.
Little children at such ages like 5 and 7, I can understand the staring. Truth of the matter is, I really don't mind the little kids staring. As much. It still bothers me, but I understand. I totally understand.
Students in middle school, high school, and college aren't bad at all. I guess it's probably because they go to school with disabled peers all day long.
Adults are okay too.
However, when it comes to the old grandpas and grannys, I am just like WHY? I don't understand. They stare at you like you're some kind of alien from outer space. No kidding. I have no idea why that is. Shouldn't they be mature and polite, since they have lived on the earth for a long time and are so experienced and stuff? But no! They are the worst! I don't know if it's their generation or what, but it ticks me off. Big time. If someone has the answer, please tell me because it's killing me.
It's granted that when you're in a wheelchair with a disability, you're gonna get stares. That's guaranteed. Here at BYU, with college students, you don't get stared at that often because people accept that you have a disability and get over it. Thank goodness for people like that. High school students don't stare at you either. I don't know what it is, but I'm eternally grateful for people like that. Because of the fact that I live on a campus with BYU students, I don't get to experience that wonderful feeling of someone's eyes boring into you because you look different.
I went to a basketball game tonight. Sporting events are always different because the general public comes to those. You don't get the general public on BYU campus very often. There's four groups of people at those events: Children, students, adults, and then the old people.
Little children at such ages like 5 and 7, I can understand the staring. Truth of the matter is, I really don't mind the little kids staring. As much. It still bothers me, but I understand. I totally understand.
Students in middle school, high school, and college aren't bad at all. I guess it's probably because they go to school with disabled peers all day long.
Adults are okay too.
However, when it comes to the old grandpas and grannys, I am just like WHY? I don't understand. They stare at you like you're some kind of alien from outer space. No kidding. I have no idea why that is. Shouldn't they be mature and polite, since they have lived on the earth for a long time and are so experienced and stuff? But no! They are the worst! I don't know if it's their generation or what, but it ticks me off. Big time. If someone has the answer, please tell me because it's killing me.
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