HEAVEN FEELS
Brightly shines the sun on the south side. Nestling myself in the V
Of the red brick wall, I've
Been here before. I know what's in store. Instantly I my spirits soar.
Free from the cares on my mind. I'm high
On the balcony, hidden from the passerby.
The warmth overtakes me, a feeling of ecstasy I can't deny.
The feeling
So serene, I lean
Back in my chair. Maximizing exposure. Resting my head on my own shoulder
I feel bolder
And close my eyes. And I wonder why
I haven't made the time in recent days gone by.
Taken advantage of the fair weather, and then I remember
Since December my warmth has been severed.
Short days of paltry sun, happiness gone.
Wondering when winter solstice would be done
And there would be warmth.
It's here now, and back in my spot on the south
Side I laze.
Feeling the rays on the pale skin of my neck, my leggings black.
Visible through the lids of my eyes, I let it take me away and I
Am swallowed up in the bright
Bliss and imagine for a moment in time that I've learned to fly
And float away in the light.
And I know this is how
Heaven feels.
Paragraph form:
The south side has the most sun. That's the rule of thumb. I love the south. It represents warmth and happiness. Sunshine beats down in the corner of the brick wall. I've been here before. Safe from the wind. Safe from the traffic of passserbyers. Safe. Warm. I lean back in my chair against the headrest. Turn my head so my cheek rests on my shoulder. Stretch out to maximize sun exposure. I hold still. Still as can be. It feels warmer this way. Closing my eyes, I feel the rays beat down through my black leggings. On my black combat boots. On the bare, pale skin of my neck. I let it take me away and I am swallowed up in the bright bliss. Imagining I am floating away. This is what heaven feels like for sure.
A light breeze fans my face. Blowing my hair to cover my cheek. I frown. I wonder for a brief moment if the sun is highlighting my hair. Turning it a lighter shade of auburn. The color of my hair is one thing I love about myself. Shaking my head to remove the hair, I once again feel the rays beating down on my cheek. Stay still. The clack of heels sounds in the distance. Self conscious, I sit up and pretend to scroll through my black phone screen. Glance up. Look down. They're gone. I lean my head back once more and embrace the quiet humming of the air handler. Thinking back on dinner. Sitting with three siblings and a wife. The love of family is incomparable. Laughter. Smiles. Sleeptalking. Sleepwalking. Snoring. Hiccups. Cantaloupe. Almonds. Does my family miss me. Someone else approaches. Pretend texting. My phone makes a reflection on the concrete from the sunlight. Remembering past dinners. Sunlight reflecting off silverware. Onto ceilings. Onto walls. Onto faces. Into eyes. Make him stop. Confiscated butter knives. A bell tolls in the distance. Signaling the hour. I lose track of the tolls. Have they set it an hour ahead. I wonder. Daylight Savings. Yesterday this would have been five o'clock. Today it is six. Thank heaven for later daylight. The breeze blows again. I peer at the ball of sun. Getting lower in the sky. Air becomes cooler. Homework awaits. Life calls. Ending the 30 minutes of listless thinking. Too short. Too long. Too long since it has been warm enough. Too long since I last slept in the sun. A new resolve to celebrate the little things.
Original scattered thoughts:
A light breeze fans my face
bell tolls in the distance
the stiller I am, the warmer the sun
reflect on siblings at dinner
south side
peer at ball of sun
too long. sun. outside. warm, nap.
reflections on the concrete
hair covers my face. highlights
happy family. smiles
does my family miss me
daylight savings
keeps getting cooler
life calls
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